Dog Days

March 24, 2009 at 8:59 pm (Life) (, , , )

As I stood in the shower yesterday, still recuperating from a strenuous weekend in Pennsylvania and Ohio, I looked out the window. I can see into several yards through the bathroom window if I stand on my tip-toes, a dangerous endeavor in the shower, but I do it anyway. A few yards down lives a dog. I have never seen this dog personally, but C. told me about him or her after a day she spent gardening.

Every day I spend in this house with a resentful, ill-tempered cat makes me miss my sweet Lena more. Thinking about some lucky neighbor actually having a dog to come home to upsets me more than is probably rational. I really don’t know how to be without pets, but I know how to be without dogs even less – to the point where I have pretty much entirely blocked out the eight months we were dogless because it was just traumatic and sad for me.

puppy I am naturally more inclined to having dogs. I am horribly allergic to cats and most of the cats I have encountered in my time were not particularly nice to me. Avoidant at best, downright vicious at worst. Cats are independent and ungrateful around me; I am not attempting to start a debate on which pet is superior to another here. I am of the firm conviction that dogs, Golden Retrievers in particular, are the best choice for me. They are smart dogs that love to please and be around people, that are naturally goofy. They’re ecstatic for you to be home. They’re dogs that never, ever bite, but are large enough to have a big scary bark that will ward off intruders. They are willing and able to learn whatever you have to teach them.

Normally, I think they are more open towards strangers, but Lena has always seemed very fixated on me. I don’t mind this. It reinforces the fact that she is truly MY DOG, not the family’s dog. Yes, she lives with our family, as do I most of the time, but I am the center of her universe. She is not inclined to taking treats from strangers, she will start and jerk away when strangers approach, bark when we’re walking. She was not abused in any way. She is fine when people enter her home, but she’s just not a personable dog when not on her home turf.

It’s a nice feeling, knowing that there is someone who does love you unconditionally and likes having you around, no matter how awful a person you may be. My dog loves me for who I am, despite everything. I miss her every day and it’s currently becoming more and more uncertain when I will actually see her again. We used to be inseparable. Now I keep having this irrational fear that I have been replaced in her heart or that she has forgotten me. goofinessI KNOW this is ridiculous, dogs have good memories for their owners. That doesn’t mean I don’t get to be a weepy, clingy dog mom about it.

I really, really miss my snugglebug.

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4 Comments

  1. Britni (VadgeWig) said,

    Aw, puppeh 😦

    I missed my dogs like crazy when I was without them, too. And I have had the same experience with cats that you have. My ex had a cat that absolutely hated me. He would jump on the table and knock down ONLY my drinking glass. He would chew on my shoes and bag. And when Boyfriend left for work in the morning, he would dart into the bedroom, scratch me, and run back out. Bastard cat.

  2. Meg said,

    Aww, poor you!! I missed my Millie like crazy when I was in England. Even though my landlady at four dogs and five cats, it wasn’t the same as having MY girl!

    I love Golden Retrievers. They’re awesome (so are labs and collies). Of course, I’m partial to my kitties, but I know they can be difficult for some people to understand.

  3. Lisa said,

    =( If I could, I would ship Lena here. This is one of the reasons I’m debating going to Norway or not- I don’t want Kodiak to wonder where I am.

    I do know that when you do see her again, she is going to be super excited. She hasn’t forgotten you.

    Dogs rule, cats drool.

    • vocisexmachina said,

      Hard enough being in D.C. with the devil cat, I don’t know if I could make myself go to Norway for an undetermined period of time. Would Kody stay with Aaron? Or go to your parents’ place?

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